If I put toothpicks in my eyes could I fix the damage?

I don't mean like poke myself in the eyes. I mean like to stay awake with toothpick eyelids?

I wanted to blog tonight. I'm too damn tired. Needless to say we are at the hospital again with my Dad. I have decided that he won't die. God knows  what I can and can't handle and one death a week is more than enough. Keep good thoughts, if you are the praying type please keep me in your prayers. So far what we know is he had a heart attack, has a significant UTI and was extremely dehydrated. I'm more than tired. I still am not done grieving for Valentina. I'm just tired. Yesterday was the worst day of my entire life. I felt terrible. I mean terrible. I was mad at God, mad at anyone who didn't see things my way and didn't appreciate that which I do have. I will blog about that I promise. Suffice it to say I'm lucky to have what I have and oh I'm going to say this next thing even if tonight I'm doubtful of it. "IF God brings me to he will see me through it." I heard that from a friend and tonight I say Bull Shit. Tomorrow I may feel differently but hey, it is always about being real. Dad kept me up all night last night. Calling me to his room every five minutes. Ciao