Coming home from Portland

Omg!! What a fast two days we just had. Now we are driving home. Actually there is no "we" as Colton is driving all the way home. He is a good and sturdy driver.


Above is a picture of me, my sister Kim and her daughter and my niece Christine. This evening was the annual "Roast Heather" I am voting for someone else next time LOL.

Don't forget to see my puppies @ www.princesspetuniaspuppies.com
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Weekend with Colton

Today is Friday. Yippee? Maybe this weekend because I'm lucky enough to go to Portland with Colton. He is going to a two day psychology conference and I horned in. Bonne, my sister took Friday and Saturday off so we can all be together and us girls have a girls night slumber party.

Friday night all the peeps are coming to see Colton and we are going to have a huge BBQ. Kenny hasn't seen Colton in years and neither has my sister. This is going to be a much needed and restful family weekend. I mean relatives are coming out of the woodworks to look see Colton.

I gave everyone shots who needed them today, wormed all the dogs, frontline and trimmed nails. I am so happy in my life. I have a renewed sense of purpose and well being. Maybe it is my new vitamins? Or... I just feel better? I'm not questioning just being thankful. I think I'm not thankful enough for the good things and the bad things. We always get through it but I wish I could go straight to acceptance and skip the denial, pissy, mad and to straight to "Im better than that" in all I do and say.


Don't forget to see my puppies @ www.princesspetuniaspuppies.com
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Shop til you drop.

Don't forget to see my puppies @ www.princesspetuniaspuppies.com
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So it's Sunday and it is beautiful

Tulips are one of my favorite flowers. I think that part of the reason I love them is that each time they poke their heads up I know Spring is really here. My sister, Bonne loves tulips as well. She talks to me all of the time about the flowers. I buy them for her when I see some. Some day when she owns her own home she is going to have the most incredible gardens. She likes nothing more than to spend the day in the yard. I used to do that too. Now I see my yard when I'm coming into the house or going outside. I see the birds, the deers and wild animals. Nothing special planted. I plant a few new things each year, the deers eat it. They are happy and fat. This country life is not for the botanical loving part of me. I do have new flowers in the kitchen garden window.

I had kind of a bad day and acted poorly. I get really upset when things aren't done all the way. You know what I mean, half assed? You all know what I mean. Ask the kids to put the Momma dogs outside to go potty. THAT ALWAYS means, fresh food and water while they run around outside. Lazy daughter does the bare minimum. I remember being a kid, so It's not like I'm feining that I was super responsible but I was. We took care of old people my entire growing up years. I had my own man. You know, being 13 meant I had to help bathe the old people. Yep, didn't think a thing about it. Anywho, I had my own man I was responsible for. His name was... OMG what was his name. Well let's just call him the naked man. Why naked man? Cuz he spent any free moment he had getting naked. It was indeed my job to make sure he stayed dressed even if that meant 100 times a day and sometimes it felt like that. I could never get mad or angry. This man and the others were paying our bills. I knew to be kind, nice and most of all patient. You know while I was living it my life was hell if you just looked at it from the outside. I was happy. I had a good childhood really. Lots of responsibility.

All my life experiences make me who I am today. Good and bad. Had kind of a sad day on the 17th of April. That is my Mom's "death day". This is the first year in 22 years we haven't all called each other and cried. Talked etc. We just said our own little prayers and took the day on for whatever it called for. We are getting very excited for Chase and Mory's visit home. Everyone who reads this (all 8 of you) pray really, really hard that they decide to move here sooner rather than later. I could use a new friend. A person should try to be friends with a lot of people. I'm no different than you except dogs make me who I am now. I have babies, babies, babies and I love babies. I love to see Mom's expression when they see the fruits of their labor. Kind of how a human mother looks at her new baby. Luckily we usually just have one at a time tho.

Don't forget to see my puppies @ www.princesspetuniaspuppies.com
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I'm at peace!!

I have a nursery full of puppies and could not be any more at peace with my personal life. I mean it. I feel so comfortable in my own skin. Peace. It is a beautiful thing. I'll write more tonight. Have lots to write.

What you don't see in this picture of me is my Father on the pit toilet. You know those toilets always smell so foul. I was so glad that my Father went to the beach with us that day. I am having a little peek a boo with my future whe all the kids are gone. Colton graduates with his degree and then has to pick phsychology schools. He will be done next Winter. He is still on the Presidents List for students with a 4.0 and all I can say is WOW. My newly 18 year old has been on Presidents list since enrolling. I'm getting tired now. Maybe Dad will let me sleep tonight. He is doing so good on his mandatory diet. He continues to kill him with his constgant beggings for food>all day long and I can't give his his usual shitty begging him. He would think me a good daugnter if I went back to giving him whatever he wants whenever he wants. Colton is really better about it than me. I will give him a little snack here and there and it pisses him off totally. I'm falling asleep.
Don't forget to see my puppies @ www.princesspetuniaspuppies.com
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Victorious day.

Had the most excellent day today. I got a lot of clarity. Clarity is a good thing. Let's us know where we stand and where others stand. Also let's us know when we are left standing alone. I got a lot of work done. WOOT WOOT. I got all the downstairs windows washed inside and out. Amazing how nice it is to look outside through clean windows. A whole new outlook.

Tomorrow I'm going to buy 3 shades of green paint to paint my new office. Yes, we decided not to put in any extra beds as in guest room. We hardly get any long term guests and if we had a real bed they might want to stay. LOL> My peeps will sleep with Colton. His room is half the house for Pete's sake. Anyways, My friend, Marty has an office of her own and it is gloriously green. 3 shades and I unabashedly plan to totally copy it. Then in the afternoons when we are chatting we are chatting in the same colored room. LOL Hokey I know. My favorite color is in fact green so it is a "no" brainer. Speaking of no brainer that is what I have been lately. No braining stuff. Just going through the motions. I had no idea how much I would miss Valentina and the joy she brought to my life. The good times that we had. Makes today seem rather sad so much has changed.

My father has been up a lot during the late nights. Moaning, talking etc. Seems like as soon as everyone gets quiet he starts up. It is all good tho.
He is my dad, I love him. He sits up with me and loves to watch the babies be born. He is good company most of the time. The moaning and with holding his pee until I hear every nuance of his latest UFO dream gets old but generally he has always been there for me. Through thick and thin and fat etc.

I have Been spending some quality time online with Sergio. I think the magnitude of what happened is sinking in and he is sadder than he thought possible. He is an orphan in every sense of the word. I will be an orphan when my dad dies. I'm 45 tho he is so much younger than I. I feel a deep, penetrating sorrow for him. He had the best Mom that God could find. She blessed him more than he will ever know. It was a blessing she bestowed upon me to have her want me to take care of her.

We have found that the dynamics in my house have changed so drastically since Cody launched out on his own. My house is so much more quiet, I'm more productive and now I'm actually counting the minutes until my hubby gets home. My dad is my best companion and Colton and Caiti are doing stuff together. It is still so new but exciting at the same time. Cody moved out. Good for him and good for us. We have a boy who feels like he can go it on his own and we "produced and made him." Two boys self sufficient. No one else is allowed to move out.

We (Actually I am ) mulling over the possibility of taking Caitlin on a cruise to Alaska in August for her 17th birthday. It really is my way of saying "sorry for not being what I should be to her". I'm so accutely aware of how everyone else took presidence over her. I want to spend quality time with her while she still wants to be with me. I've been a not so good Mom to her. I've basically sucked when it comes to her. She is my only daughter and I have treated her like an extra. I wonder if what I'm writing makes sense here. We do/did stuff but someone was always there too. Bonne, Serina, Christine, Erica, Erica. etc. I haven't treated her like a friend too. When I look into her eyes I feel sad. She deserves so much more from me. God gave me the answer to my prayers in having a daughter and I didn't cherish every minute of it. Boys are different, their needs are different.

Serina and Justin at Applebys with my Dad and I

This is Serina and her husband, Justin. We had a great lunch.. cough, cough.


Don't forget to see my puppies @ www.princesspetuniaspuppies.com
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The House that Ron Thomas built and Fridays at Applebys.

This is my father and me. Yes, the same Father who finds his sorry ass in the hospital. He is a big man but he is actually the shrinking man. I'm in charge of what he eats. You remember that limerick "Jack spratt could eat no fat and his wife could eat no lean?" Yes, I'm in charge. He is ONLY 72
This picture was taken right before he started his coughing and gasping for air dining experience. Never fails, wants to go out and then gets so excited about the shrimp. Yes, always deep fried shrimp are involved. Then eats a few and starts choking and I stand over him feeding him after he practically dies from choking. We make everyone around us nervous with his coughing. Made a mistake this time and went during "rush hour" times. Did I tell you I love him? Well I do. He has been the best dad he knows how. His Dad died young and I know my dad misses him.

My Kitchen Floor below

David worked so hard at getting the floor put down. Colton and I spent all day and night Thursday digging up the linoleum and under flooring of the kitchen. It was ALOT of work. My God, I feel 45. When he was prying and pulling I kept thinking I could go faster. He left the tools to use the bathroom and I ran to the tools so I could "show him how its done." OMG I'm so sore today. I'm laughing as I type this as I realize he knew I was a weakling. I did a great job sweeping and picking up the debris.

I'm the garbage lady indeed.

I have the most adorable puppies right now. I have been stressed as of late and it is so nice to curl up in my chair with the babies. There is nothing in the world like puppies to love on that makes every single day bearable. I have 5 new Mom's getting ready to have babies. I have been sleeping in the nursery because I don't want to miss anything. LOL.

Colton and I are talking a lot lately. He is spending time with his sister. All of these things are good things. I didn't realize what a hard worker he is and Caitlin is appreciating his mad math skills. I am thrilled to death with my kitchen floor. Ron Thomas built my house, he did a terrible job. Really terrible. We love our land, I love the privacy and being in the country. I don't have a curtain in my house. Every single window is huge and no curtains. No matter where I am it is like I am camping, or um.. like in the garden of Eden. I'm so blessed to be able to live where I do. Oregon is God's country.