Move along.. Nothing for you to see here.

Today I am totally wasted. TOTALLY WASTED I tell you. Spent my morning getting new flooring for my dad's room. Last night the boys and their friends pulled everything out of his room and then pulled out the carpet and padding. We burned his mattress. You know the mattress I just bought him less than a month ago. Smelled horrid so it had to go. Now, on Monday I have a hospital bed coming, a hoyer lift and a heavy duty potty chair. I'm feeling a bit anxious about this decision. I want to be able to care for him, but if he requires 24/7 or a lot more care than I am already doing he may have to go to a (gasp) nursing home. Then if I put him in one of "those" facilities I will feel guilty if I don't go and sit with him a couple of hours a day. This way the CNA's will know he is loved.

I sent a letter to the administators of this hospital today as well as the supervisor of all nurses. I can't believe some of the staff here. Assholes. Need a wake up call. Probably won't hear back but feel better having expressed myself. I called the administation office and they told me they "couldn't" give me the top guys email address. I started asking if it was the hospitals policy or his private policy not to be in contact with patients or their families. Ha, 4 minutes later my "friend" in administation said she had gained permission to give me his email address. What total and complete horse shit. I'm not going anywhere. I live here. Wouldn't willingly be admitted to the hospital. All the kids know if mom has to go to this hospital, "Sew me up and ship me to Portland". I'm not a hospital snot, it is just that I want a doctor who see's more than 3 patients a day and one that has patients who are actually under 75 years old.

We (Mostly Erica) scrubbed my dad's bathroom spotless, she painted it, got a shower curtain, towel holders etc. Now my dad will only use it for a shower. We now have 3 bathrooms for everyone to use. No one would use my dad's when he used it because of the leakage. It is kind of nice having a bathtub after 4 years.

I'm hoping that the nurses coming out 2-3 times a week the first couple of weeks home will help me make any adjustments I need to make in his care. I'm actually scared of this new venture with him. He has not stood on his feet for even one minute since his arrival a week ago today. Weakness. My weakness too. Why is it I always end up taking care of the infirm? What? Why me? I told everyone here Gramps is the last. Someone else can stand up to the plate after him. Someone else can take on the burden of the ox. I can't remember right now the saying, but you get the drift.

Now we are going to paint Dad's bedroom and start putting down new plywood to the places that are ruined in the floor due to piss. Piss=peeing where it isn't supposed to be. UGH. I hope this blog seems rude, I just am so tired. Emotionally, physically and mentally. I haven't done a lot besides follow the staff around and watch everything they have done to my father. I have questioned everything and asked "Why?" . Bet they will be glad to see me go as well. It is hard to be rude/mean/short tempered when the patient's family up your ass watching everything. I think it is the best way to get good care.