I'm emarrassed by the time lapse in entries

I can't believe how long it has been since I have blogged here. Seems like the main times I want/need to blog is when I'm stressed/pissed or confused. Wonder what it is this time?? Let's see. I just re-read the blogs I posted and I sound so mean and ugly. I'm really not. I would say I'm more blunt. Straight to the point blunt though. I could say my dad is a hard man to take care of. I can say I got help with him now. I can say that things are so much better now with someone helping me. My husband did get his Bachelors degree in September. He got it in Business Administration. He is now working on his Masters degree. I'm tired. As usual I'm tired. He works 12 hours a day for "the man" and then comes home and starts his homework/assignments etc. Hardly see each other. I'm complaining. That is why I'm here today. I want to complain about my husband and his "selfish" desire to improve his families living situation. Isn't that utterly crazy? Selfish? I"m sure he doesn't like being stuck working at home and at his job. Well, to be truthful he doesn't do ANYTHING at the house. There are no "Honey do" lists. Honey do is me I have learned after all these years. When he takes a vacation he does things around the house but during the other times there is not a dish done, not a load of laundry (He does wash his own white shirts because I was "staining" them in the wash). He doesn't vacuum, make phone calls or sweep. He comes home from work, works on the computer and then goes upstairs and veg's out to the TV in preparation for the next exciting day of "same old shit". I suppose if I was him I could complain about me. Heck, I would be good at it too. It's that bluntness about me dontcha know? (Yes I know "Dontcha" is not a "real" word but when I say it or type it I feel like a southern Belle)

I love every show involving judges, Desperate Housewives, Greys Anatomy, General Hospital, Cesar Milan, Animal Planet, Brothers and Sisters, Lost, House and anything to do with operating. I like that in Oregon there is NO SALES TAX. What the price says is what it actually costs you.

I'm thankful for the friends I have. I'm also interesting enough to have some people not be friends any more. You need weeding out some, gaining new ones. Some friends are my forever friends. I turned 45 this year. Certainly not any sort of milestone but with each new year comes new nuances and new awarenesses. I have realized that in my 45 years I have about 5 really good true friends. Those 5 will be there at my funeral, helping to support my family and I know in my heart they love me. OH, don't get me wrong, there are always conditions for friendship. I think everyone has conditions. EVERYONE. You have to figure out if the unspoken conditions are worth the cost of the friendship. Now, I know I'm going to have people say I'm a pessimist etc. Think long and hard about it. I have. And for me that is my truth. I love that I can be who I am and some people like me. I'm just an average/regular Joe. No, you politicians I'm not Plumber Joe. I'm not Joe Smoe. I'm just ordinary. How sad. In my mind I'm extraordinary. I can do every job, run marathons and fly planes. It is a good thing I lose keys because if anyone here were a pilot I would try to fly the plane. No, I'm not having dreams of grandeur.