April Party in Portland

Knee brace, ankle brace and my Dad's walker

Our Omelletes- Fixings and done.


Knee brace, ankle brace, back brace…. It is hell getting old.

SO it is true. I have been nagged mercilessly about not blogging for so long. I have been in a funk. A serious funk. I’m feeling better but it is coming slow. I have also heard that you are tired of reading about Orchids, old men with stogies and wood peckers. I get it. I just haven’t felt much like writing. Well, actually the last week or so I have had so many ideas rolling around in my head and just have been too lazy to put it into words.

Easter was easter. Didn’t go to church because frankly I did not feel like it. The highlight of the day was the shrimp and bacon omelets David made for breakfast followed by the turkey, ham, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, rolls and homemade cheesecake. Made myself sick eating so much but it tasted so good. David made it all too. Brittany and Chestny came over to drop Logan off and stayed and dined with us as well. Chestny (great niece) looked so adorable in her little Easter dress. She knows my name now and that makes me soooo happy. Simple pleasures in life.

I’m fat. Okay, I said it. I have been walking 4 miles a day now for a month. It must be such a hilarious sight. Big old fat lady walking. I have kiddingly called myself the “SouthSide Fat ass” and would get a shirt made that says that but my husband would not like it. LOL. I started off at 3 miles and got blisters. Next day changed shoes got different blisters in different spots. I did this shoe change until all the places where the blisters grew are now hardened and callused. Why would a 46 year old lady think she can start off at 3 miles? It is a most dreadful thing being a “Boulanger” sometimes. We always think we are better, smarter, quicker, and can do anything at anytime. Nothing holds us back.

I’m up to 4 miles now, no blisters either. The thing about the blisters is they were the least of my problems.
I had to purchase a knee brace for my bad knee. (Dislocated it about 23 years ago.. Never the same) I have been using that for a couple of weeks when now I have noticed that my left ankle has been killing me because it has to compensate for the right knee not doing it’s own work. So, now I strap on the knee brace followed by the newly purchased ankle brace. After bout a week my lower back starts to kill me after a walk and hurts me for the rest of the night. Walmart again.. I went and got a back brace. Yes, you read that right. I’m wearing 3 braces to walk. I feel like I’m old but I still need to walk. I feel better and have a fresher mind when I am done. It’s like I try to control my body. My body say’s “How about we don’t walk today?” and my brain says “Nah, we have to walk so we can be able to keep up with the grandkids someday.” I don’t want to be the little old grandma who sits in her chair and can’t chase the kids. I try to concentrate/focus on the fact I can still walk and be thankful for the pain because I’m still alive. Next thing with this old body is I’ll be using my Dad’s walker along with the braces to exercise. Too, too funny.

My son Colton told me I shouldn’t talk about him on my blog but I can’t help it. I talk about everyone here. This is my forum. We will start with Cody.

Cody got accepted into the OSU graduate pharmacy program and starts in Sept. That means he and Erica will be moving to Corvalis. I will lose my son and Erica, my walking companion. He will do a good job up there as he is smart, dedicated and wants this. It is time for him to head towards his educational goals. Colton is planning to go to Eugene and wants to get a job working for the psychology department doing research for a year and then reapply to the Psychology graduate school again. I hope he is making the right choices. I don’t know anything about what he needs to do to become what he wants to ultimately do. It is tough because up to now I could still lead him. Now he is in unchartered territory.

David earned his Masters degree. MBA to be correct. He is very proud and has worked so hard to get it. I guess I’m the dummy in the house now. Caiti graduated from High School in March and is going to the community college here full time. That leaves me with a lot of free time. You know in my mind when all the kids left I would still have my dad as my constant companion. Now as the kids are untethering themselves from here my heart begins to ache once again for the loss of my Dad. He isn’t here and they won’t be here and I can’t call my sister because she isn’t here anymore. I find myself in the most untenable situations. I cry just knowing the kids are heading out on their own and don’t need me anymore like they used to. I’m nervous to be so far from more of my kids but also understand that they need to experience the world with their own terms. I guess it is time for me to begrudgingly accepting of what is to happen and learn to deal with the aloneness I am heading towards. I knew mentally all the kids would move on eventually but it happened so quickly. Too quickly. Part of me is proud as hell they are all so smart, so able to take care of themselves and take on this world and try to make a difference. Make their mark so to speak. I’m glad I don’t have to start over where they are. It is scary and it is a growth time. Some of the best times of my marriage was when we were first starting out and were poor as church mice. I mean POOR.

I’m going to Portland tomorrow for my monthly trip. Sometimes I wish it wasn’t so far but then I am free when I’m there. It is good to be with my sister, Bonne and my nieces and nephews from Kim.