Yes, It has been one hell of a day and I'm feeling more and more screwed by the day. My dad is taking every free minute and every minute all day and night. He starts calling me every morning at one and keeps going until well past 8. Fix my pillow, I need a breathing treatment, Fluff my pillow, cover my feet, uncover my feet, pick up something I dropped. I'm too hot, I'm cold now etc. I'm trying to be supportive but I'm damn tired. I called my dad's worker and asked to have some help. Apparently I'm making the most I can and now I have to write a letter (Very detailed) explaining why it is I need some help. At this point I'm feeling like.. "Great, take him".I don't want my dad in a nursing home, I have done all in my power to keep him home I just need help. Now tonight I'm tired as hell and have to try to put together a fucking letter to some pompous bitch who can weigh it and decide my and my father's future. Pisses me off something fierce. I like dogs. Dogs make my life bearable. They love me unconditionally.
Now, I find out today that my old neighbor, Sergio's Mom has stomach cancer and the doctors give her 6 months. Usually I think doctors are so full of shit. With her they put a scope down her throat, saw the cancer was everywhere and told her bye bye. Speaking about doctors being screw asses. I have recently this week found out that my "wonderful, carefree, fun and easy" expanders have been "compromised". That is really a nice way of saying to me that I have been poking holes in my tit's every week injecting sodium hydrochloride into them and then they have been leaking out little by little. Hey, at least it is good to be me. NOT!! So, after much consideration I have decided to take out my fucking expanders and live my life as a flat bitch. No tits!! No more operations for me. I'm tired. Did I already mention I'm tired? Drained really. My tits drained into my body and now I'm just tired. I found out just recently that when you get the "fake tits" you have to remove and put new enhancements every 7-10 years. I'm not wanting a lot of surgery. No more than I've had now. I'm just so pissed that the doctor is having me come up Tuesday (4.5 hours each way) so he can counsel me. Then wants me to wait until Thursday, drive my fat ass back up there once again and then decide my fate. What an arrogant asshole. No consideration to the fact I'm almost 45. Don't care about the tits anymore. If my husband doesn't care and has been telling me for months to let them go why should I? No more bra's. That is right. No bra's. No shoulders hurting, more flexibility and hey... How can I possibly think about so many surgeries? Who will take care of my dad? He is full time and 24/7. I wonder if he is sleeping right now. I'm going to go wake him up. Bye
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